Smooth seas make poor sailors.

“Everybody has a plan until they get punched in the face” - Mike Tyson

Life loves to humble you, especially when you’re riding high.

Since I began pursuing my parent coaching certification, I had improved in every category imaginable.

I was calmer, happier, and almost completely stress-free.  I no longer yelled or blew my stack.  My relationship with my kids was better than ever.  My wife and I had never been closer.  I finally felt at peace.

Then Batman died.

It’s difficult enough to lose a friend of 12 years - It’s even harder to do on vacation, trapped in a smaller-than-usual house with three kids due to inclement weather.

Ideally, I’d have had space to process my grief.  Anybody that has young kids will tell you that they won’t ever do you any favors.  They need you to be present, they need you engaged, and they need you to be patient.

I’m not ashamed to admit that I wasn’t able to be any of those things.  At least, not at the standard I’ve set for myself as a father.

I was more reactive.  Short-tempered.  I lost my cool on a number of occasions and handled things like the “old” version of me would.  It was around the time a V-Tech toy cell phone bounced off my skull that I broke my 3 month long streak of no yelling.

I know I should give myself grace and I have.  I have forgiven myself much quicker than the old me would, that’s for sure.  Still, those few days were a major wake up call to me.

It can be really easy to boast that you’ve turned over a new leaf when the conditions are optimal.  The problem with that is that at some point, life is going to throw a wrench in the gears and you’re going to have to be the father your children need in spite of what you’re going through.

I thought I was stronger than I was.  That realization wasn’t a negative for me, though.  It just showed me how much work I still have to do.

The next time we hit a rough patch, I won’t be as weak.  Next time l’ll be the man my family needs.

Back to work.

-Eric